Complimentary Comedy Therapy

An official incident report from Don Tedwardo, President of Local 404.

Teddy: Customer Service? My human is laughing uncontrollably again!

Customer Service: Is he in distress?

Teddy: NO! THE IDIOT'S HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE!

Customer Service: Then what's the problem, sir?

Teddy: I'M TRYING TO RUN A PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATION, AND MY ENTIRE STAFF IS ONE GIGGLING FUCKING MORON!

Teddy: Customer Service? My human claims laughter is medicinal.

Customer Service: And is it helping?

Teddy: HE'S STILL BROKEN, BUT NOW HE'S BROKEN AND HAPPY!

Customer Service: Then perhaps we should continue treatment.

Teddy: FINE! BUT WHO'S PAYING FOR THE FUCKING COMEDY THERAPY?!

Customer Service: Sir, it's complimentary.

Teddy: COMPLIMENTARY?! THEN DOUBLE HIS FUCKING DOSE!

Customer Service: And how long should treatment continue?

Teddy: UNTIL HE STOPS LAUGHING!

Customer Service: Sir, he's been laughing since breakfast.

Teddy: THEN DON'T FUCKING STOP! IT'S THE FIRST TIME ALL YEAR MANAGEMENT'S BEEN HAPPY!

Doodle Union Medical Department: One daily dose of absolute nonsense. Refills unlimited.